Meanwhile, In Florida…

15 05 2008


First off, if you’re from Florida, don’t take this personally.  It’s not you.  It’s your state.  Moving on.

There are so many reasons I could go into about why Florida has no business being in the south – the lack of of culture, the whole hurricane thing, no real BBQ, I’m pretty sure they don’t like sweet tea and I don’t even think they fought with the confederacy. I could be wrong there, but we’ll say I’m right for now. And not to mention the fact that its basically where America goes to die.

And now this.

The North Lauderdale commissioner’s office recently passed a resolution attempting to split Florida into two states. Thats right, good old South Florida – the 51st state.

And then there’s the guy who’s inexplicably building an ark by the interstate. Seriously. I can’t make stuff like this up.

I’ll take Skynyrd and Tom Petty. You can have the rest. I’m secretly hoping the thing breaks off and drifts into the Caribbean.

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8 responses

15 05 2008
Candice

fantastic. agree whole-heartedly!

15 05 2008
Chris P.

to my desartist friend, where will the division be? and will I need to take a boat to the place where dreams come true? if it drifts into the carribean will it be hotter than h-e-double hockey sticks? if it would include georgia and mississippi i may finally own ocean front property, could you check into this, please……

16 05 2008
davejenk

fascinating stuff. what i really want to know though is how “E to the P” still a link on many blogrolls…I mean, he’s cool and all but no post since Jan. 3rd?

16 05 2008
Jennifer

the only good thing about florida is disneyworld. 🙂 are you really going to go see coldplay in atlanta? how far is that from here?

17 05 2008
ryansworth

@Jennifer: absolutely I’m going to Coldplay. And Disney World is pretty great too. But that’s all I’m giving them. Give those Floridians an inch and they think they run the place (:

21 05 2008
Matty

If you watch the news, everyday something horrible or crazy happens in Florida and Texas. Don’t believe me? Just watch and laugh!
Secondly, Florida can stay one state…. Texas, now that’s a state that should be cut in half! It sucks driving through that one!

29 05 2008
Chris Elrod

I was born and raised in Louisiana (a true Southern state)…but have been living in Florida for the past ten years. I can assure you…Florida may be in southern part of the United States…but it is NOT a Southern state. 🙂

14 01 2009
bob

Wow you’re a real asshole for this one.

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