so this is what 23 looks like…

18 07 2006

So I’m a year older since my last post on this thing… I turned 23 this past Wednesday. Now, being a member of the the Marketing & Communications workforce of corporate America, I’ve been told several times throughout my college and working experience that if you can’t sell yourself, you can’t sell anything. So for my birthday, that’s just what I did… I tried to let as many people possible know that it was my birthday. You can call it conceited or selfish, I call it good advertising. And it must have worked, because I heard from people that day who I haven’t talked to, either on the phone, in person or via that big world wide web, in a long time. I even got the birthday song from an ex-girlfriend… boy, didn’t see that one coming. So all in all, my day of birthday congratulations and eating lots of bacon cheeseburgers and cake was pretty fantastic. Couple that with a stellar Pirate vs. Ninja birthday bash the Saturday before and a few gift here and there, and turning 23 hasn’t been half bad. In fact its been mostly, if not entirely, good.

but getting older is not all cupcakes and fireworks. i had a good conversation with a great friend of mine the other day. well, less of a conversation and more of a friendly gut check. and it pretty much boils down to the fact that i want to be everything for everyone – i’m a yes man. not like in a butt-kissing bad way, more like the “i don’t want to let anyone down” kind of way. i want to be a best friend, a great employee, a helping hand, a committed young life leader, a man of God and everything in between. All while still trying to hold on to the fun life of being a grown-up kid. but there is a problem there. because i can’t be everything for everyone. its like a shot gun. instead of focusing on a few things, i want to cover it all. but even if my aim and intetions are true, i can’t hit everything. and the stuff that does get hit, isn’t always hit hard or right. and this shotgun approach is pretty deadly to the self. when you try to be everything for everyone else, the self gets left out. there isn’t much time left for personal growth and nurturing and recharging. i also think that my fear of not being in control plays a decent size role in this whole thing too. i want to do it all. i’ve been hanging on too tight to too many things, all while trying to grab more and more and not letting go of anything else. it just can’t work that way. not healthily at least. people will be dissappointed, feelings will get hurt and stuff will be overlooked… all with good intentions of doing none of the above. so that’s that. im trying to figure out some balance and priorities and where I fit in all of it… i’ll probably add some more to this later on today…

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5 responses

18 07 2006
Jo

I just checked your Xanga, which I hadn’t seen in forever, and found this. I’m glad you’re updating regularly so I can keep up with you. I miss you and I hope God is blessing you EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Love love-
Jo

18 07 2006
etivoli

you know what’s so funny? no? well im going to tell you. i heard from SIX people that i havent heard from in forever – including a girlfriend i havent talked to since highschool – on my birthday yesterday. i was actually writing a blog entry myself about how amazed i am at who comes out of the woodwork on the day of your birth. as though that is the only day out of the year they can care for you. or something. but, all in all, turning 25 hasn’t been half bad either. as long as people – ah*hem – don’t call me “old as dirt.”

18 07 2006
etivoli

…and as a p.s., you and i are so “cancer” its not even funny. good post my fellow design friend.

19 07 2006
Nicole

Happy birthday, Ryan! It is so amazing to hear what God is doing in your life. I completely hear you on being afraid of not being in control. I have struggled with this also. But, it seems like every time I find myself battling with this, God does something in my life to show me how little I can do, and how perfectly in control He is. Amazing, huh?

I’m glad you’re blogging again. 🙂

Nicole A.

22 05 2008
Obama-rama and the Cobra Nation « ryan sworth | a lull in traffic

[…] for it, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on good marketing and creative strategies – and as I’ve said before, if you can’t sell yourself, you shouldn’t sell anything. And never before have I seen […]

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