so this is what 23 looks like…

So I’m a year older since my last post on this thing… I turned 23 this past Wednesday. Now, being a member of the the Marketing & Communications workforce of corporate America, I’ve been told several times throughout my college and working experience that if you can’t sell yourself, you can’t sell anything. So for my birthday, that’s just what I did… I tried to let as many people possible know that it was my birthday. You can call it conceited or selfish, I call it good advertising. And it must have worked, because I heard from people that day who I haven’t talked to, either on the phone, in person or via that big world wide web, in a long time. I even got the birthday song from an ex-girlfriend… boy, didn’t see that one coming. So all in all, my day of birthday congratulations and eating lots of bacon cheeseburgers and cake was pretty fantastic. Couple that with a stellar Pirate vs. Ninja birthday bash the Saturday before and a few gift here and there, and turning 23 hasn’t been half bad. In fact its been mostly, if not entirely, good.

but getting older is not all cupcakes and fireworks. i had a good conversation with a great friend of mine the other day. well, less of a conversation and more of a friendly gut check. and it pretty much boils down to the fact that i want to be everything for everyone - i’m a yes man. not like in a butt-kissing bad way, more like the “i don’t want to let anyone down” kind of way. i want to be a best friend, a great employee, a helping hand, a committed young life leader, a man of God and everything in between. All while still trying to hold on to the fun life of being a grown-up kid. but there is a problem there. because i can’t be everything for everyone. its like a shot gun. instead of focusing on a few things, i want to cover it all. but even if my aim and intetions are true, i can’t hit everything. and the stuff that does get hit, isn’t always hit hard or right. and this shotgun approach is pretty deadly to the self. when you try to be everything for everyone else, the self gets left out. there isn’t much time left for personal growth and nurturing and recharging. i also think that my fear of not being in control plays a decent size role in this whole thing too. i want to do it all. i’ve been hanging on too tight to too many things, all while trying to grab more and more and not letting go of anything else. it just can’t work that way. not healthily at least. people will be dissappointed, feelings will get hurt and stuff will be overlooked… all with good intentions of doing none of the above. so that’s that. im trying to figure out some balance and priorities and where I fit in all of it… i’ll probably add some more to this later on today…

Appendix B: Theme Parties

This is another Appendix in the catch-up story. So we have parties every now and then (usually every other month or three) and we don’t like to throw your average party. we (as in me and the roommates) like to have theme parties - no, no, we know we’re awesome, you don’t have to tell us. usually though, our themes end being “too complicated” and people don’t dress up very much - though, i’d like to point out, those who do, do it well. so we’re trying to simplfy things and go from there. here’s a brief rundown of some of the parties we’ve had…
- Sk80’s - my birthday party last year - 80’s themed at the skating rink.
- White Trash Office Christmas Party - WKRP in Cinncinati meets Office Space. amazing.
- Spring Bling - think Miami in the 70’s without all the coke. my friend James never got the
explanation and just dressed up in shiny gold sheets of fabric.
- End of the Year/Graduation Luau Bash 2005 - no real theme, just Christmas lights, bonfires, 500 people and 7 cop cars. absolutely legendary. ask anyone who knows anything and this was one of the parties of the year.

That brings me to our next party…

this Saturday night - Pirates vs. Ninjas: Birthday Battle Royale. My friend JT, who’s birthday is July 15 and who secretly wants to be a ninja, and I, who secretly wants to be a pirate, are having a joint birthday party. My friend Lauren Green, who also shares a birthday with me on July 12, and my friend Erica, who has a birthday on July 17, will also be there. so if you’re coming you should probably bring a pile of presents for us. The party starts at 10ish and will run into the early morn. i live at 204 Dewars Dr. (take Cherry Rd to Heckle Blvd, turn left, take the 2nd right and we’re the 2nd house on the right). be there, choose a side - ninja or pirate - and dress accordingly. oh and if you think theme parties are lame, this invitation is not for you.

Appendix A: Soundtrack of Life

This isn’t really part of the catch-up story in the life of Ryan, but i wanted to post this up here anyway. i originally found this on my friend Mellie’s myspace profile and i stole it and made it my own. i’ve since made some CDs (its fits on two) to give to friends in exchange for their life soundtracks.

Opening credits: “Staring at the Sun” by TV On the Radio
Waking up: “The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen
Average day: “Young Pilgrims” by The Shins
Life’s okay: “Catch my Disease” by Ben Lee
Partying: “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Minogue
Happy dance: “Too Young” by Phoenix
Driving: “Carmelina” by Matthew Good Band
Action Scene: “One Arm Scissor” by At the Drive In
Secret Love (also called a crush if you’re 13): “I Met A Girl” by Wheat
First date: “Growing On Me” by The Darkness
Falling in love: “Cant Get Enough of Your Love” by Barry White
Love scene: “With or Without You” by U2
Fight scene: “Fight Song” by Appleseed Cast
Breaking up: “Crimson and Clover” by Tommy James & The Shondells
Getting back together: “Come Pick Me Up” by Ryan Adams
Forbidden love: “Blackest Hair, Bluest Eyes” by Chris Staples
Learning a lesson: “Wise Up” by Aimee Mann
Deep thought: “Your Hand in Mine” by Explosions in the Sky
Flashback: “Fix You” by Coldplay
Regreting: “Lose You” Pete Yorn
Long night alone: “Another Lonely Day” by Ben Harper
Death scene: “Untitled 1″ by Sigur Ros
Closing Credits: “As Snow” by Courage Riley

and some footnotes…
- i think i could do this again and only use either (a)Coldplay, (b)Death Cab for Cutie or (c)Ryan Adams for the whole thing. maybe i’ll try that too and post those for the interested.
- the hardest songs i had to decide on were the party song, the break up song and the death scene… that’s quite the variety.
- if you want to hear it in its entirety, just let me know and i’ll make you a copy. all you have to do is give me yours.
- i’ve had a few people debate me on my choice of Love Scene song and/or Break Up song. i have plenty of good reasons for choosing those, but here is the brief explanation - “With or Without You” is a very intimate and emotional song, that moves from whispers to peaks and is heartfelt the whole time. That’s how i want my love scene to be. Whether or not the lyrics fit entirely. And “Crimson and Clover” is apparently a happy song about seeing a girl for the first time, but the way that its recorded makes me feel lonely and reflective… kind of how you feel when you break up. there are some subtle echoes on the vocals in parts and on the guitars and some of the other instruments. there are also parts of the song that are pretty sparse and even silent. lyrically, the lines “crimson and clover, over and over” play out to me as rethinking the break up and wondering if there was anything that could have been done differently. “and now i don’t hardly know her”…

not that you cared or wanted to know any of that extra stuff, but i figure if you made it down to read this part you either were bored with life or interested in this. good for you.

Happy Birthday America

so i figured what better way to celebrate the birthday of our country than start a new blog. actually, there are probably a lot of better ways to celebrate (eating grilled meat, baking in the sun, setting stuff on fire…) all of which i will do later today, but this is a nice start i think. so i never used my xanga site (can you say xanga on this thing and not get censored? we shall see) so this is supposed to motivate me to post my life happenings for those who care. i’m not sure how many people that is, but for the sake of my own self worth we’ll say a lot… more than 5. maybe. so to catch up things since my last post on the old blog… thats going to take some time. instead, i’m going to separate it up into a few areas. like an ant’s body. i’m not sure what those are called, but you get the idea.

so here we go…
New Years Resolutions
- besides the usual “eat better” and “exercise more” resolutions that all but 6 American’s made this new years (pause… anyone know if new years resolutions are American or international? look that up and get back to me…) I made three measurable resolutions… here they are:

1. Travel to 8 New or Unique Places (i use the word unique because while I may have been to a certain place before, I may not have experienced it in this certain way)

2. Read 20 Books

3. Make my bed everyday

At the half point in the year, its nice to take a look back and evaluate the progress one makes on goals and see where any adjustments, improvements or back pat’s are in order. I have travelled to 5 places so far, so I think I’m actually ahead of schedule on this one.
- New York (i went here with Layne a few years ago, but this was my first time staying in the city as an adult. my roommate Josh and I went to visit our friend Jeremy. it was awesome)
- Colorado - me and the bosses went to see our friend Leigh Ann in Colorado. i don’t
think i had previously been across the Mississippi River so this was a big one. plus i
got to go skiing in the Rockies, see Red Rocks, visit the Young Life Headquarters, etc.
- Gastonia, NC - now, I know you’re saying “Gastonia? What did you run out of gas on the way to somewhere more interesting?” No. Actually, this is where i got my second and third tattoos at place called Skin Art by a bald guy named Randy. I went with my then-girlfriend, who got her first tattoo. Luckily, they weren’t of each others names, since she broke up with me not too long after that.
- Greensboro, NC - another one of those “you’re just saying this place so you can
finish your new year’s resolution” kind of places. except that i went with the sole
purpose of watching my beloved Winthrop Eagles play toe-to-toe with the number 2
seed Tenn Volunteers and lose on heart-breaking prayer of a shot at the buzzer by
Chris Lofton. when i find a picture of this moment, i’ll put it up (i think i can do that…
i haven’t really explored the options of this here blog.). it was a great game
otherwise.
- Sharp Top Cove - This was my second trip to Sharp Top (i went with Young Life
Charles a few years ago when we did program for Athens, Ga. Young Life - Polish Lion Tamers and Movie Voice Stand-ins that came to Charles in a dream. But this however was my first time at Young Life Summer Camp. I went with two of my high school guys, Miles and Vance, and we had an awesome week - maybe i’ll put pictures of that up too.

So those are the first five. I have tentative plans to go to Nashville, Chicago or Austin and maybe Key West. But none of those are finalized yet. don’t worry i’ll keep you updated (like you were really worried to begin with).

Now this second resolution is one where i’m going to have to pick up the pace. I’ve only read three books so far this year. I’ll write more about this in a separate post, but anyway you look at it, either i’m going to have to start reading Dr. Seuss, or i’m not going to finish this one. Here are the first three (all of which I highly recommend) :
- Tuesdays With Morrie, by Mitch Albom
- Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller
- Rumors of Another World, by Philip Yancey

And the final one, give or take a day or two where it was done, but later in the afternoon, I have successful made my bed every morning for the past six months. I know, I know. amazing. Whatever, it makes me happy.
So thats the catch up on the New Years Resolutions of 2006. There are some other chapters of this catch up on Ryan’s life that i’m compiling, including: relationships, the heart and life in general. that was like the “now here are some scene’s from the next episode” part of this post. hopefully you’ll come back and read that someday too. if not, oh well. i hope your house burns down. well, maybe not burn down, but just some smoke damage (like the 6th floor of Richardson my freshman year. ah another story for another day…)